Do I like it this way, a single dude raising a couple of “rascally wabbits” all by me lonesome?
The Answer: Yes and No. Not undecided, just unresolved.
“Unresolved” means I’m happy being single, but honestly, don’t think it’s best for my ‘chitlins’ raised in a home without both a mama and a papa.
Their mother has moved on, found herself “the man of her dreams,” and married him. Good for her, I wish her all the best for many years to come.
But here is the thing, losing the relationship with my children’s mother, being a single dad helped me mature.
It also brought into full view the reality that I was unquestionably responsible for my children’s spiritual upbringing.
Reason being, no one else is gonna do it, plus, it’s my job too as the dad and as a Christian.
The Lord dropped some wisdom to my soul in scripture form, where it states: “For the wages of sin is death,..” (more is said in that verse, but what I was ‘convicted’ of was the part I just shared) Romans 6:23.
What that meant to me during the season was very clear at the time (and still is btw), my family died because of my sin and hypocrisy.
I knew that if I don’t get my butt in gear, and get my act together.
In our case that meant, get to church consistently, my kids were going to pay the price!
I wasn’t willing to allow that to happen. It was time to act, now!
I knew what I had to do, so I went ahead and did it.
The following Sunday I began going to church, and about every week after that. No more of that every once in awhile nonsense.
Around that time, (if I recall correctly) I stopped drinking the alcoholic beverages regularly.
Now, I have to admit, for transparencies sake that while I don’t recall exactly the timeline of those events occurring, what I do seem to think is they all took place within a couple of months of each other…
…possibly even just one month’s time.
What’s been the most challenging beast for me to release has been pornography.
It’s embarrassing because it is so perverse. Just flat-out crude.
And it’s everywhere.
From blatant and overt, to subtle and passive.
At this point an entangled fixture within western culture.
I’m not making excuses, just illustrating the example, if you look at something as benign as a trip to the gas station when there at the kiosk are porn rags and “innocent” consumer rags with provocative images on the cover.
Another example: Instagram, a notorious vanity venue crawling with half-naked camel-toe laden babes showing their stuff while doing squats (or whatever).
It’s a slippery slope, but one I’m learning to navigate victoriously.
Not in my own strength, but in God’s strength alone.
I’m at the point now where I am well aware, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that my relationship with Jesus, through countless sermons, prayer, fellowship with other believers and Bible reading has brought to me the conclusion that my only true and reliable source of strength comes from God and because of his grace.
This is my testimony and that’s all I have.